On Monday, February 1, 2010 my Grandma passed away. When she became ill, she lasted about two weeks. Previously, she was spunky, silly, loving and full of life. Our entire family was with her when she passed away. It is quite difficult for anyone to understand my grief, for she helped to raise me and for several years, I lived with my grandparents. Sometimes, I get the feeling from others including my family that she was “only my grandmother.”

My grandparents left a great legacy. Despite all of the in fighting and disagreements and people not speaking to each other, we all came together as a family. We set aside our differences and grudges and focused on Grandma and supporting each other. My grandparents formed us to “always” be a family in the tough times.

My heart feels like a part has been ripped out. I am sad, angry at her physician, and depressed. My therapist told me to just let myself be whatever that may be in that moment instead of “shutting down” my feelings which just makes it worse. I have a difficult time doing this.  This time it is particularly difficult as I handled my Grandpa’s death in 2001 in the same manner and ended up with a major depressive episode.  This time it feels like I am grieving both.  There is emptiness inside which is normal and expected. I’m fighting not to feel “tooth and nail.”  It is really a good thing that I am in therapy right now…I want grieve and not get into trouble.  Within less than a week, I’m already in “trouble” with my eating disorder.

Dr. David Kessler, Grief and Loss Specialist for Tributes.com offers the best and the worst things to say to someone in this grief state :

The Worst Things to Say:

* At least she lived a long life, many people die young.

* He is in a better place.

* She brought this on herself.

* There is a reason for everything.

*Aren’t you over him yet? He has been dead for a while now.

My Additions: Things that I’ve heard or have been told.

*It is part of life.

*What did she die of?

*You have your memories of her.

*When was the last time you saw her?

*Were you close?

*At least she is not in pain anymore.

*It was good she went quickly, so she didn’t suffer.

*Was she a Christian?

*She is with the Lord now.

*She is with your Grandpa now.

*I understand, when my __________, I___________.

The Best Things to Say:

* I am so sorry for your loss.

* I wish I had the right words, just know I care.

* I don’t know how you feel, but I am here If can help in anyway.

* You and your loved one will be in my thoughts.

* My favorite memory of _________ is _________

My additions:

*Listen to them talk.

*Allow them to laugh and cry.

*It is okay for you to cry also.

*Hug the person

*Send a sympathy card.

*Be there for them.

*Let them grieve in their own time…everyone grieves at different rates and may come up after a long while.

*Provide support or an outing on anniversary dates (i.e. holidays, her birthday, the date of her death, etc…

*Be specific with what type of help you want to give. i.e. grocery shop, make or take telephone calls, provide a meal at the date they specify, etc…

I love you Grandma and miss you!!

So, do you have any suggestions regarding what to say and what not to say.  What has been helpful or not helpful to you?

I cannot believe that on February 2, 2010 that  my Clinically Clueless blog reached its 500th post today.  Happy Birthday to me!!  That is a heck of a lot of writing and sharing.  I started Clinically Clueless  blog on 5/8/08.  And, yes this is shameless self-promotion: 275 posts for Something Just To Start (Virtual Art Gallery) and 125 posts for Go! Smell The Coffee for which I am one of the many contributors here. I began SJTS on 4/3/08 and began with GSTC on 10/13/08. That is a total of approximately 900 post in about a year and a  half.  (I could do the math…this one was easy. LOL

Granted some of the post were duplicated on other blogs, but who cares!!  I beat the average of most blogs lasting six months. I decided to investigate what are the typical characteristics of a blogger.

Conscientiousness – a tendency to show self-discipline, act dutifully, and aim for achievement; planned rather than spontaneous behavior. (Okay, that is me)

Extraversion – energy, positive emotions, surgency, and the tendency to seek stimulation and the company of others. (Definitely not me, at all!!!)

Agreeableness - a tendency to be compassionate and cooperative rather than suspicious and antagonistic towards others. (Okay, that fits.)

Neuroticism – a tendency to experience unpleasant emotions easily, such as anger, anxiety, depression, or vulnerability; sometimes called emotional instability. (Do I tell the truth?  Yea, that fits.)

So, the question is why do I blog.  Just because…just kidding.  Well, my first blog Something Just To Start was named by my therapist as I kept thinking about just starting one and he said, “Do Something Just To Start.”  So, I began with things I like art, jewelry, cooking and inspiration.  Then, I started Clinically Clueless as a therapeutic way of expressing myself with anonymity.  This ended up being a great tool for therapy as I was telling the truth of my life which was very difficult to me and helped me to open up and accept my life.  My therapist also named this because he kept calling me this, as I am very clinical in my thoughts, but sometimes when it comes to me I am Clueless.  GO! Smell the Coffee, I was asked to be a contributor on many which is great fun…I basically get to write what I want and I loved reading and commenting on the site.

The USDA (United States Department of Agriculture) is close to making a decision to register a genetically modified (GM) alfalfa variety developed by Monsanto.

The following website contains a petition it is urging all concerned consumers to sign to try and prevent this from happening.

http://www.freshthemovie.com/blog/

Apparently in a report issued by the USDA it makes the claim that not enough consumers care about organic foods for it to justify blocking the registration of Monsanto’s GM alfalfa.

This is blatantly absurd. Consumers of organic foods buy them because they want reassurances about what has not gone into them (i.e. pesticides and genetically modified organisms), and they have collectively formed a loud enough voice to prevent many GM crops from being introduced in Europe, Asia, Canada and the US, (notably GM wheat which was withdrawn from the registration process in 2004 by Monsanto because of widespread, global market resistance to it).

Alfalfa is a forage crop that is an essential part of organic crop rotations and is used extensively as feed for animals raised naturally or organically. If GM alfalfa is introduced onto the marketplace it will pose a serious threat to both organic and conventional farmers.

The trait that is genetically engineered into these crops is a resistance to herbicides, so that farmers can use chemicals (like Roundup) to kill weeds whilst leaving the crop itself untouched. Unfortunately, as in the case of GM canola, a crop that has become the dominant variety now grown worldwide, that resistance has proven hard to contain once released into the field. Farmers are increasingly having problems with “volunteer” canola plants which are appearing in subsequent non-canola crops and which cannot be killed by spraying.

That is the basis of consumer resistance to GM foods, because they want to maintain a choice between crops that have been grown conventionally (with chemicals) and those that have not, and GM traits make that a much harder line of distinction to maintain.

Alfalfa is a huge, staple crop that farmers use to help naturally replenish nitrogen back into their soils (thereby reducing the use of chemical fertilisers) and it is used by beef and pork producers everywhere a pasture and winter feed for their animals.

I urge you to sign the petition to prevent registration of GM alfafa and spread the word where you can.

Over 12 million have watched this video on YouTube, enjoy!!

The original:

This Queen classic has been parodied many times. 

Trivia:  Queen played very few gigs at the start, avoided the club circuit and rehearsed for two years while they all remained in college.  They are the most educated band in rock history.  (May began work on a Ph.D. in astronomy; Taylor has a degree in biology; Deacon, a degree in electronics; and Mercury had one in illustration and design.) 

Share your YouTube videos and all comments welcomed!!

This is probably one of the creepiest things I have ever seen. Useful to teach you how to be freaked out by babies!

On the upside:

It doesn’t eat much, won’t keep you up at nights and doesn’t require changing!

Wow!!  I was astonished that this happened live.  I was quite uncomfortable.  Mistakes and miscommunication happens during live broadcast, but I’ve never seen anything like this.  Talk about public humiliation.

I was unable to find out what happened after this “fight” to the anchor and reporter.  Please share if you know.

Have you ever been publically humiliated at work or anywhere else.  Do share!!!

Oh my!!!  All of us have embarrassing moments, but none quite like this…or maybe not.  Share an embarrassing public moment that you have had.

I came across this interesting graphic recently which illustrates how little land area would be needed to power the world with solar energy. My understanding is that the data it is based upon comes from the United Nations.

Image from http://www.informationisbeautiful.net/

I am mixed about the message this kind of data gives to people.

I believe it gives false hope that we can easily solve all our global warming problems by the adoption of a solution like this. This is a dangerous assumption for a number of reasons.

Firstly we do not have anywhere near the political will or investment commitment that would be required to make this happen, and that’s a situation that is not likely to change whilst there is still money to be made from the status quo by those at the top of the corporate ladders.

Secondly even if we were able to adopt this solution within the three years that the data suggests it would take to put all these solar installations in place, it is highly unlikely that we could also make the necessary chnages to our energy infrastructure in the same time frame.

And even if we did manage the impossible, it is going to take decades or longer to reverse the global warming trend, even if emissions stopped tomorrow (which they can’t), and so we would still need to look at other solutions to cope with a changing climate.

And my final problem is that it gives people an unrealistic optimism upon which to abrogate their own responsibility as part of the problem. It tells people that it’s okay to carry on with their highly consumptive, wasteful and energy intensive lifestyles because technology is going to save them. It won’t. It can be part of the solution for sure, but a bigger part is us.

We really need to examine our lifestyles and learn to live with less impact upon our world if we are to have any chance of securing a decent life for ourselves and our kids.

And I know how difficult it is. Because I am trying to do exactly that in my own life and it’s horrifying to realise I’m as guilty of these sins as anyone. But I guess awareness is the first step and the next has to be changing it – a worthy goal for 2010!

Ideas for changing the world always welcome……

Hands up – I was inspired although recent reports reckon that film goers have left Avatar feeling depressed as they get back to their 3D life here on earth:

Avatar comments welcomed here – blue people optional!

CC here from Southern California in a hugging mood today.  Today, January 21st, is World Hug Day.  This day was founded in the U.S., but has spread all over the world.  Some nations and Americans call iting Day Hug Day, World Hug Day, Send a Hug Day, International Hug Day, and even Hug a Bear Day!  It is a reminder to show the world that ‘peace begins with me.’

From the site, World’s Biggest Virtual Hug, these are some suggestions for this day or anyday.

1. Pledge-A-Hug for Peace
2. Join the World Peace Society (free!)
3. Peace Begins with Me Program
4. Become a Place of Peace
5. Submit your peace poetry
6. Submit your peace art
7. Get active – view calendar of events
8. Unite online – participate in forum
9. Send a free peace e-card
10. more actions for peace…

Send an e-hug card for free.

According to the Website, Squidoo , there are many benefits to hugging…..

This simple act accomplishes many things that you may have never considered.

According to the Greeting Card Association, the benefits of greeting cards include the following:

· Mean someone has taken the time to send a special message
· Add a personal touch to special occasions and holidays
· Connect us to all different types of people including co-workers, teachers, family and friends
· Help us put our emotions into words
· Provide a tangible keepsake to document special moments in our lives
· Help us reach across generation, gender and cultural communication gaps
· Provide comfort to someone and make sad times less painful
· Boost emotional well-being through reaching out to others
· Make a loved one feel special
· Preserve memories of connections with friends and family
· Show someone you care!