For my post this week, I have decided best writing paper to share something very personal in the hope that it will either help or inspire a few others.
When I answered my profile questions, ‘When did you last cry?‘ was an easy answer for me. That morning, I discovered something very wrong with my right breast.
A lump. Every woman’s nightmare.
I knew that I had to do something about it and for a split second considered ignoring it and hoping that it would go away. Two days ago I went to the doctor, who immediately gave me a mammogram and a sonogram to find out what was going on.
Lying there on the bed during the sonogram I could not take my eyes off the screen and so I saw, not one, but two dark masses very clearly.
Today, I should get the results and know (and hope in my heart) that they could be benign cysts. But the last few weeks of not knowing made me think. The mind can be a cruel thing when you do not know.
During the two weeks, my mind ran riot and thought about all the things I would do, haven’t yet done and may not ever do. So I will be living my life rather differently from now on, doing the things I want to do rather than those things I feel I ‘should’ or ‘have to’ do.
When I saw the two dark areas on the screen, I felt all the uncertainly vanish to be replaced by calm. Strange I know, but for me, the worst fear is not knowing. Now I can do something about it.
What is your worst fear and how are you going to face it? What are you avoiding?
Life really is too short; we never know just what is around the corner.