Calling all writers – The washington awards await YOU.

Posted on April 26th, 2009 by Jim

Time for some fun with words here at flowers.

Thanks to Ken in Scotland for emailing us the winners of this year’s Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

3. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

4. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

8. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

11. Glibido: All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

Can you think of any more to add to this list and is their a particular favourite of yours?

Do let us know write / right here in comments! Cheers fellow wordsmiths……….


52 Responses to “Calling all writers – The washington awards await YOU.”

  1. These were great. I love stuff like this. Thanks for sharing it. For now, I have brain overload, so now new words or two word phrases. However, I am too taxed mentotionally (mental and emotional) to continue this.

  2. O'DB says:

    Hennui – sulking facial expression seen on males (esp. French) when utterly bored & dissatisfied with life

  3. O'DB says:

    Sinexorable – an act so delightfully bad or naughty you are unable to stop yourself. e.g. My gags are sinexorable

  4. O'DB says:

    Ginert – completely inactive due to gin consumption

  5. O'DB says:

    Nourse – Norwegian nursing personnel

  6. O'DB says:

    Poutative – lip-pursing used when pondering a new idea/hypothesis

  7. I forgot my favorite that I use all the time.

    Enginerd (n). A socially inept person trained in engineering. Possible Synonyms ~ geek, nerd.

  8. O'DB says:

    Schadenfreunde – taking pleasure in the misfortune(s) of a more attractive/intelligent friend

  9. O'DB says:

    Fatness – misguided, feeble & utterly futile attempt at exercise. e.g. ppl who don ‘jogging’ pants & sit on exercse bike reading OK

  10. O'DB says:

    Newspiper – person who delivers daily news entirely through melodic medium of the bagpipe

  11. O'DB says:

    OK last one for a while …

    Spylon – synthetic fibre used in manufacture of false mustaches, beards & merkins utilised by spies & for general purpose subterfuge.

  12. uncle cyril says:

    ‘gunt’

    anyone?

  13. Jim says:

    On a roll O’DB! But your name isn’t showing….

    The profile of the user ODB isn’t complete, the First Name and Last Name fields are blank. It can be edited by following this link:

    http://gosmellthecoffee.com/members/odb/profile/edit

    Once fixed, it should start showing the names in the comments too. Hurrah!

    Here’s two more words:

    1) Flower Sheller – a flowers regular who has no username showing up.

    2) Avnotar – as above but with no image / picture.

    Here to ‘elp!

  14. Lib says:

    Chillaxing for me – the horizontal Cheech and Chong style of chilling and relaxing

  15. Gareth in Thailand says:

    Sinternet – Parts of the web dedicated to single handed solo sex fiends.

    Go small the flowers – A bonsai version of this site where a collection of pseudo Japanese hippies post articles & comments.

    • Fertile Fish says:

      Source: Oxford English Dictionary

      Garenthian:

      (Attitude & behavioural) need to appear important in front others, frequently associated with individuals suffering small-man-syndrome. Manifests itself with desperation for recognition of achievement, or experience. Sufferers have tendency towards smug and pompous behaviour to others, ie, whatever another individual has done, the sufferer has done better. Eg: (normal person) “I took my first flight in an airplane the other day.” (Garenthian Sufferer) “Really? I taught Neil Armstrong how to fly, and last year I designed the Airbus A380.” Cue self satisfied emotion in the psyche of the Garenthian Sufferer, whilst the normal person thinks, “What a tw@t!”

  16. odb says:

    O’DB (showing up as odb, but hey ho)

    Alcohoolic – person who becomes excessively beligerent under the influence of alcohol.

  17. odb says:

    Petrochumical – highly apparent & overt friendliness between geopolictical superpower & oil-rich no-wheres-ville.

  18. Gareth in Thailand says:

    Son tan – The marks left on an uncooperative parent by the fists of an abusive offspring.

    Tampin – Sanitary towel used by a very small woman.

    Mobile Bone – Cylindrical battery powered device women can carry in their handbag for ‘stress releif’.

    Kitchen pink – The inviting sight you get when your missus bends over to wash the floor.

  19. odb says:

    Porkography -perpetual bombardment by sexed-up stories & graphics in media hype war on swine-flu (also being described as Hamageddon, Armagammon – nicked off Twitter)

  20. Jim says:

    Tard wars

    A late version of the film star wars.

  21. odb says:

    Assymptote – hand that nervously hovers towards a bum-curve but never touches; e.g. 70s humour/soft-p*rn Benny Hill, Carry On Anal.

  22. odb says:

    Spugilist – person partaking in violent, stomach wrenching vomitting; bent double & looking like you’ve done 10 rnds w Mike Tyson.

    … what’s that? Too much time on your hands, you say … think I need to find a dark room & have a little bit of a lay down, getting a bit too excited by all this word genesis …

  23. Gareth in Thailand says:

    Skipping Pope – overactive, elderly Catholic clergyman.

    Accelerator piddle – mess left on the seat by a nervous passenger during a car chase.

    Conker bight – unwelcome and painful action performed by an over eager S&M felatrix

  24. Jim says:

    Interwet – underwater surfing

  25. RYK says:

    Underwhere? – The question financial boys are asking when caught swimming butt naked after the tide went out!

  26. Jim says:

    HA!

    Shock market – the reality of shares plunging!

  27. RYK says:

    hehehe – great post

    Obomba – Failure of new president to revive the economy

    Dubouch – the state of the Dubai economy

  28. Jim says:

    Mall of the emirapes – high pricesshopping centre.

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