Go! Smell My Life: Part Two

Posted on November 23rd, 2008 by taylorblue

In Part One, I talked about how my daughter might have PTSD. Here in Canada things must be different than other places because it’s so hard to get help for this sort of thing. Here is a bit of background on why she is having so many problems.

When we left for the woman’s shelter that night my daughter couldn’t talk. She was 2 1/2 years old and couldn’t say but three words; mama, dada and diddy. She used diddy for everthing else she wanted to say. Within two weeks of leaving she had her whole vocabulary back. She was just holding back on us, I suppose. Or she didn’t feel it was safe.

Because of the abuse she suffered from my ex they say she is mentally two years younger. When you are abused you stop growing and kick into survival mode.

So now that she is the age she is (she’ll be 13 in January), I wonder if she is bi-polar. It also could be puberty kicking in too. This girls emotions flip on a dime. But to figure this all out you need to experiment. The first experiment is taking off her current ADHD medication. I have never agreed with her taking them to begin with. I have got into a lot of discussions with other parents about it to. They say she can focus better in school, so who am I to mess that up, so I keep her on the meds. The side affects are horrible though, she cries all the time, she never sleeps and she never eats. She is tiny like I used to be and needs all the extra weight she can get.

Dealing with her this week has been a huge battle but I have to keep my eye on the big picture., in order to find out the problem, we need to try different things. I guess until then I will have to bite my tongue and stay exhausted.

We do have a doctor’s appointment on Wednesday to discuss the results of the test. I will keep you updated.

(Again the picture was taken this summer when I went to the Calgary Zoo, the lemur was behind a waterfall and I couldn’t resist.)

What is something you wish you could do to improve your health?

37 Responses to “Go! Smell My Life: Part Two”

  1. After reading your post, I am doing it…I’m in therapy, taking my medications and communicating with my psychiatrist on how I am doing. Part of the difficulty with my PTSD is that the first traumas were when I was preverbal, so I have no words sometimes to express how I feel or what I am thinking…I just act it out with my behavior like an infant would. It is very frustrating and difficult. In the USA, it is difficult to find good therapists that one can afford, and one that specializes in PTSD for children let alone for adults. However, most of the time the first important thing is how well the therapist-patient/client relationship is. That is so key beyond anything else. Then, is the education, but you can get a good therapist who doesn’t specialize, but is willing to consult that is a good combination also.

    I really need to get some exercise to improve my over all health. However, when I’m depressed it is hard to get motivated and therapy takes so much out of me that I just want to sleep and need to a lot of time.

    Thanks for the update and please keep updating us. I just feel so much for you and your daughter. Try not to get swayed to much by what other mothers say because you will go all over the place. Ultimately, it is your decision and you know how to find the facts!! Or do a post around here and see what comments you get.

    Blessings for you and your family,

  2. Emma says:

    Sometimes we push away what we want most in life – isn’t it ironic. The time that we could really do with people around us to help and inspire us is the hardest time to let people into our lives.

    Great post Taylor Blue, thank you.

    As a coach, I am always helping people to stand tall, get in touch with who they are or who they want to become and often do not take the time to do that myself. So after reading your post, I am going to start listening to my own coaching. For me, when I know who I am, respect and believe who I am then, my outlook on life is so full of energy!

    Thank you thank you

    • Arvind says:

      Great post Taylor Blue – it is amazing what happens when you reach out and seek help.

      Emma – great insights for yourself. Who even needs a coach?!

      So tell us, who are you and what do you want to become?

  3. A/C says:


    When you take your girl of her Meds..
    I have a susgestion it might sound daft but worked for my friends son also ADHD, horrid at school, horrid Behaviour.. we called him the Evil One.. serious..

    My Girlfriend started giving him Camimile Tea.. black.. with a little Honey.. then she used Lavendar oil in a worm bath for him right before bed…
    It took a few days of completely drowning him tea, burning Lavendar oil around the house, in his bath and a few drops on his pillow.. but it did the trick… it didnt take long before he was changed boy.. and is now grown up, studying at University…. last I heard…

    No Medication since he was 9 yrs old…

    She also changed his diet removing soft Drink (soda), and White Bread…
    Worth a try.. just a thought…

    the Tea is relaxant with no side effects, the oil so long as it is used wisely also relaxes and smells great.. but only use the pure oils..

    • Arvind says:

      AC – I often burn Lavender oil in my home and makes such a huge difference – the whole apartment feels fresh and smells great too.

      It probably calms me down too, as I used to be known as Mr Hyper at one time :-)

    • Taylor Blue says:

      She doesn’t drink pop or eat white bread…but I am sure there are other bad things she’s eating and not telling me about. :) HA HA. I will for sure try the tea and lavender thing.

    • My brother has ADHD too and my mom took him off of the pills by the time he was ten. Not because he ‘outgrew’ it, but because she was literally that concerned about the side effects. He was really quiet and almost lackluster when he was on Ridalin, plus, he lost a lot of weight. The down side of being off the meds is that he almost immedietely got back to being my annoying, irritating, obnoxious bro. Upside to it was that he was back to his normal self again. :0

      Ridalin + Puberty equals weight loss and extreme periods of feeling down about oneself. Though speaking as a woman, I can certainly remember crying a lot when I was going through my teen years, so she may just be having a harder time of it than usual.

      Taking her off the meds will probably help relieve those symptoms you were worried about, even though she may act out a lot more and seem like she’s not paying attention to you, but you know about all that as a mom. ;)

      • A/C says:

        I am going through the starts of that with my little Miss she turns 10 next week and it has started already.. and she doesnt have ADHD…

        I also read a study where it said it was healthy for girls to argue with their mothers… TRUE

        Girls who argued and debated with their mothers grew up to have better mental health than those who did not, they also were able to cope with tricky situations, confront situations with a more even temperment.. and in general where a more mature well round person…
        The opposite is true for boys…. they simply shouldnt argue with mum…

        So it is possible that this is part of her growing experience… I know my little treasure is being a right cow at times…. Until I remove her DVD Player and internet access.. that sure puts a holt to any and all problems….

        I am the supreme ruler!!!!!! :)

        • Yes, you are AC. One thing to keep in mind is that most people begin to think of older teens as small adults (as they do themselves); however, neurological research has shown that adolescence continues through early twenties. What happens is that the first completion of the neuropathways are the emotions, so that is fully intact in their teens. But, the cognition; hence, the ability to reason and have impulse control isn’t fully developed. Sometimes, no frequently emotions over rule thinking. This is why the emotional swings because sometimes the ability to reason and have impulse control is there.

          Interesting, when you think of some of the not so wise things people do when in college.

        • A/C says:

          Also CC the frontal Lobbs of brain arent there yet not until early 20′s are the Frontal Lobbs developed, the pathways set etc…

          My eldest was still carrying on like a 2 year 19 year old.. tough times… not until he was about 22/23 did maturity start to kick in.. now he still moments of madness but he does have some self control, to go with it..
          I told him his Frontal Lobbs must have grown in….
          He said YES My brain is complete…
          Kids huh!

        • LOL!!! It helps to keep in perspective what you can expect, but it doesn’t mean you don’t have all those devious thoughts!!

  4. Arvind says:

    Taylor Blue, to answer your question, the one thing I wish I could do to improve my health is get more sleep and sleep regular hours.

    I currently wake up all hours and then can’t sleep at night. I have tried various things, reading in bed, exercising beforehand, meditating, soothing music and so on.

    Not needing much sleep does mean I get more doen in my waking hours but for once I would just like to sleep early and wake up naturally :-)

    I can sense a future post about this coming up soon…

    • Gareth in Thailand says:

      Get yourself some good quality skunk weed. White Widow is a good one as it crumbles easily and is a very aromatic smoke. If you don’t want to smoke it then you can sprinkle it over a salad or something.
      Should have you pushing out the z’s in no time.
      You should probably get some more snacks in the fridge though.

      An old girlfriend of mine once made a sunday roast with doobie in the gravy, we all ate well and then had a very sureal afternoon my Grandmother commented later that she had never had such a tasty dinner and such a good afternoon nap.

      • Jim says:

        LOL Gareth and whens your next Sunday roast?

        In Dubai that’s 3 – 5 years inside Gareth in Thailand so not an option… seriously though wouldn’t it make the problem even worse through the likes of paranoia and depression from the numbing escape of herbs?

        • Gareth in Thailand says:

          In some cases extended and heavy use has been linked with this sort of thing but I’ve never read one that studied it properly nor discounted the fact that some people are naturally paranoid and naturally screwed up or would have been depressed regardless of use. However it is in cases where the user is smoking 24/7. This is stupid anyway as after a few days of heavy use you do tend to get a bit of resistance.
          I personally know a lot of people who smoke but I’ve never met one of these people you read about in the media with problems linked to their use of doobie. I think in many cases its used in mitigation for a crime where plainly and simply the person is a criminal and would have done something with or without a liberal intake of weed. They blame smoking for leading them to mental illness and then into crime. The fact that there are many other mentally ill people who don’t commit crime seems to go unnoticed.
          Certainly whenever I’m stoned the last thing I could do is commit a crime, generally sitting down listening to music or something like that is all I want to do, couldn’t get the motivation together to go out and butcher a couple of tom’s thats for sure.

        • Jim says:

          Fair enough but either way of form of escapism!

        • Gareth in Thailand says:

          Escapism? No more than having a beer in a bar.
          Some will have a few then go home some will get blotto and be completely stupid, same with weed.

        • O'DB says:

          Yea, agree that studies suggesting increasing neurological/pychological problems with marijhuana use have been ambiguous.

          However, care should be taken with heavy usage & existing psychological problems (or unknown genetic predisposition to such issues) since data suggests them to be poor bed partners, & existing problems may be further exacerbated.

        • I don’t know, I live in California. The State government says that it is legal for medical purposes, but the Federal government says it is illegal. Talk about ambiguous.

      • A/C says:

        lol.. GIT

        A friend used to make biscuits with the same stuff…

        Until one her daughter took the wrong batch to school for a present for her teacher… needless to say the afternoons lessons were a blast.. lol

        • Arvind says:

          I had one of those “biscuits” by mistake at the Notting Hill carnival a few years ago. The colours of the carnival looked ever so vivid and I could almost bear the loud music :-)

          Had a massive headache the next day though.

  5. Hey Taylor…sorry to hear of the difficulties you and your daughter are going through. Don’t know much about PTSD so I wo’nt throw my two cents in. But I did want to say that your daughter is very, very lucky to have a Mom who is is involoved with helping her through this tough time…just keep it up!

  6. Purple13 says:

    Hi Taylor

    I saw your picture and thought (typically british i know) oh another post about the weather.

    Then I read on.

    So glad i did – good luck later this week. I guess we all need to know we’re loved. After that, we can pretty much cope with anything else.


  7. O'DB says:

    Sobering story of your family life, taylorblue.

    On a cloudy, grey Monday morning in Manchester certainly puts some of my minor gripes & grumbles (Forest lost again, g/f’s doing her nut over a bad hair-cut, etc.) into perspective.

    All the best to to you & A/C in your ongoing battles.

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