Hello fellow flower smellers.
Well, if any of you out there were thinking about sucking up to us Canadians, now might be a good time to start. You see according to this map that appeared recenty in the New Scientist, Canada might be one of the few places left on the Earth that can grow your food in the future.
Now, in the interests of speeding up Canada’s transition to a world superpower, I am willing to take a lead role in fostering international relations between any countries interested in providing me with copious gratuities that I will require them to deposit in an offshore bank account. This has to be done swiftly, however, before the G(whatever the number is now) countries agree on more stringent banking regulations. (Darn that recession). Oh but rest assured it’ll just be a retainer that I will leave on deposit at the bank – it won’t actually be like income or anything. I’ll probably just forget it’s even there. (That sounds familiar doesn’t it?).
This will insure that my greatly influential voice falls upon the correct ears to guarantee your country gets its share of the Canadian wheat crop when you are soaking up the harmful UV rays at your endless beachfront property somewhere in Lombardy, with a spectacular view of the snowless Alps.
Just make sure I get your message before 2012 in case the people who didn’t draw up this map are right about the world ending!
Off to set up a bank account. Then I can buy a smart car!