Hello fellow flower smellers.
Well, if any of you out there were thinking about sucking up to us Canadians, now might be a good time to start. You see according to this map that appeared recenty in the New Scientist, Canada might be one of the few places left on the Earth that can grow your food in the future.
Now, in the interests of speeding up Canada’s transition to a world superpower, I am willing to take a lead role in fostering international relations between any countries interested in providing me with copious gratuities that I will require them to deposit in an offshore bank account. This has to be done swiftly, however, before the G(whatever the number is now) countries agree on more stringent banking regulations. (Darn that recession). Oh but rest assured it’ll just be a retainer that I will leave on deposit at the bank – it won’t actually be like income or anything. I’ll probably just forget it’s even there. (That sounds familiar doesn’t it?).
This will insure that my greatly influential voice falls upon the correct ears to guarantee your country gets its share of the Canadian wheat crop when you are soaking up the harmful UV rays at your endless beachfront property somewhere in Lombardy, with a spectacular view of the snowless Alps.
Just make sure I get your message before 2012 in case the people who didn’t draw up this map are right about the world ending!
Off to set up a bank account. Then I can buy a smart car!
Coz like see, my David said right, like if the ice sort ov like came again an that an all, well he reckons it will be like dead proper cold an that, just like if theys was to cancel all them fire brigades an conscript mice into the scouts…..!
Bloomin eck!
Now that’s scary see.
An like if that Barry O’Bama dons’t not sort out all that stuff, well like I’m not goin down the Labour Club no more coz right see themz joanna keys will probs be made out ov atoms!
Yeah!!!!
ATOMZ!!!
No wayz right!
Just NO WAYZ SEEZ!!!
Not playin that game I ains’t!
Wot if they’ve av gotten sheep at ome, an childers too?
Summat not rite ere rite, just not rite or nuthink!!
Hmmm…………..
Night all.
Love, Elts
Blimmin ell!
Iz you zat bloke Gary in dizguize? Coz like see, my David said rite, zat he had likes dizapeared see. Ze Gary not ze David, zo ze David as well too blimmey. Maybe he waz on that Air France planes see, zose French know nowt howz to sail planes they donts, ze drowned David I fink. But ze Gary he had likes chickened out from ze challenze proper he haz!
And my David sot of said zat Elts rite, well he talks like zat Gary wen he iz drunks like see, and so he thout see, zat you iz im rite, or e iz you. Or summat likes zat!
I said jast no wayz see?
NO WAYZ RITE?
Hmmmm…
Don’t sweat it Elts.
There will always be room for entertainment – gotta keep the people distracted from the deadly UV rays – and you being a Brit you know there’s nothing like a good p;d singsong can do that!
Even without global warming making Canada one of the more hospitable places to grow the world’s food crops, it’s probably got a very healthy future ahead of it.
Stable government, great social services (free health service) & an abundance of natural resources (huge oil potential in tar sands) & mineral deposits that are increasing in price as international supplies dwindle in the face of growing demand (e.g. China alone is going to be needing more & more as its economic & population growth trajectory continues). All these will add up to Canada becoming more influential & powerful on the international stage. The fact that they’ll potentially be the world’s bread basket will just add to their increasing international influence.
Intelligent reply. But even Canada had to expend some resources on adaptive technology for crop science and bio-engineering – and we are probably spending more than the rest of the world on that now, But it’s an area that is still looked upon as purely agricultural – it need to be rated humanistic.
One thing that amazed me when visiting Canada was tha tthe car headlights come on at the same time everyday, depending on light conditions.
Come on Canada – easy on the light savings
Loved the clean air of the Rockies….
Glad to note you have maintained your status of absolutely nothing to contribute commentwise here Mumbo Jumbo Jim.
Here’s something of equal insignificance vaguely Canadian related, I sh@qked Pierre Trudeau’s wife, no it wasn’t Mick Jagger after all.
There, another urban myth exploded by the man of experience.
Think she was attracted to the nascent business executive in me, it was a kind of Mrs Robinson sort of thing. Doubt you’d understand.
Taught her everything she knows. Then let her down gently.
Oh yes, and the clean air in the Rockies blah blah insignificance and blah.
Oh the maple syrup in her hair, loved it all….
Har har har arf arf har
Have you ever had Manitoba Maple Syrup Monsieur Pompous? Much lighter in colour and sugar than the Quebec variety.
Likewise if you have been limiting yourself to Quebec dames you have been missing out on a truly prairie experience.
Are you sure about that? Have to turn mine on?
One of the biggest problems here is we have to laeve our cars block heaters plugged in during cold winter nights or we are not going very far. Minus 4o is a thing to behold.
Maybe it depends on where you are in Canada, I was near the Rockies, Calgary way -that stampede place – all headlihts on at dusk and dawn, every car!
Got to tell you Mumbo Jumbo Jim, I am constantly amazed at how people switch their car headlamps on at the same time everyday in other countries too…
Of course it depends on light conditions.
I’ve noticed it tends to happen when the daylight is low.
Other bizarre Canadian phenomena; it never ceases to amaze me that Canadian central heating systems in their houses all seem to come on together at the same time as well, depending on temperature conditions.
These Canadians….. such coordination, well spotted Mumbo Jumbo!
Snigger snigger snigger arf arf snigger
In the UK – people do not switch their headlamps on at the same time.
I know ‘cos I see all them driving around in disguise on dark mornings and foggy days.
(sorry everyone – use of car headlamps is a bit of a personal bug-bear of mine).
If only cars were equipped with loud hailers…
Hello Angela.
If you are a Canadian do you live in Canadia ??
Yes I do!
Then we’re all doomed!
To get all the food from Canada will lead to a further increase in carbon based fuel being burnt, leaving from Canada. This will lead to a new ozone layer depletion overhead, letting in more UV…..
Just off to put some more tins of spaghetti hoops under the stairs.
surely there should be a government pamphlet issued on this topic? Next to swine flu, the last time such a thing was suggested, I filled 40 dustbin bags with soil and surrounded myself with them under the kitchen table for 2 weeks.
Then I realised the ‘alarm’ was some local farmer scaring the birds of his fields!
Can;’t they turn Niagra into a giant hydro plant? Worked with that mountain in Wales – release teh water – generate tons of clean electricity, then use the electricity to pump the water back the top to do it again.
Um we’d drown a few million people but I suppose in the interest of clean energy what the heck eh?
Yes, you have loganberries there right? I always felt that alone made Canada a superpower. Loganberry jelly….yum.
Too true!